Everyone can not say that he is very experienced in marriage, everyone has their own feelings, lengnuanzizhi. For example, some people like to abuse, not abuse, she also feel that the other party is not a man. Some people like to give in, because she has no idea, you let her have an idea, may have asked her to kill her. So, what we’re going to talk about next is that you don’t have to take it too seriously, because what I say is not good enough for your unique marriage sample.
I think people’s life faces two important subjects: how? With whom? How to go through the need for self reflection, including three small problems: first, how the past. This sentence is awkward, that is, self-awareness through the road. Two is now how to live, and now you are satisfied with life, why satisfaction or dissatisfaction?. The third little question is what to do next.
I have a dream in my direction, though in my experience, life is basically a collision. But there is a direction of the benefits is that you don’t always ask this question, but life is not always confused, will not be easily defeated by reality, because you have a wank out of his head, words rough, is the truth.
The second major issues facing life are: who to live with. This problem is not to think about it, but also according to the other side to make a judgement. From the recent message to my WeChat, this kind of problem accounts for more than 80%, such as the other half derailed, how to do? What do you do if you don’t love yourself? What happens if a child wants a divorce? Does a long-distance relationship have to be given up? I am dazzled by these questions, really:
A happy marriage is about the same; a bad marriage has its own funny place. I act as a psychologist in the capacity of a person to come and give you a few points of view.
1, marriage is not medicine: love problems should not be resolved by marriage
In fact, a lot of people before entering marriage, it is obvious that the two sides are inappropriate, they naively believe that marriage is good, marriage is really solve the wrong prescription? Of course not. Marriage is the proper result for two people. If there is a problem in love, you must not think it can be solved by marriage. If you feel uncomfortable when you are in love, it will be more uncomfortable after marriage. Why? Because after marriage will enlarge this kind of pain, such as washing dishes, cooking, mopping the floor, tidying up the room, these trivial things will enlarge the contradiction between two people.
Do any period of marriage, finally will become a regret a previous mistake in the future. If you can’t find the best out of the other person in love, it will be a nightmare for Warcraft. Another silly idea is that marriage can’t go on, so give birth to a child. Uh, why do you have to step into the same mistake two times? Solve another mistake with one mistake.
2, blank lovers: no one is perfect
What’s the proper marriage? What’s wrong? There are no perfect matches in the world. Yes, so the pursuit should be the right one, not the perfect one. It’s impossible for the world to prepare you for a person, a full range of matches. Fall in love, to shine with you all look forward to the characteristics of dreaming. I believe that the world prepared for you a blank person, waiting for you to decorate, as long as the basic expectations, temper generally like, living habits generally do not conflict. The next test of your decay for the magic ability, always want to change rooms, most people do not have this cost ah.
So, the problem, this blank lovers at least have load-bearing walls? Well, I think it’s important to have three load-bearing walls:
First, values, do not pull any world view, outlook on life, too big, too far away, life can not use this. Values is the key is to stay together morning and night, the basic moral judgment of things. For example, a love harm, a selfless love, together you will think about how tragic.
Two is the feeling of love, a personality thirst, a personality indifference is very difficult. There are always people who try to separate love from love. It’s not necessary. Love is a part of love. Two people love each other. Seen a lot of marital problems, are contradictory sex extending out of the gun, saying: hardship.
The three is a messy beautiful living habits, a very troublesome emperor cleanliness. Otherwise, the details will beat love.
Some people say, “I didn’t get married before, I don’t know these things.”. Didn’t Mr. Qian Zhongshu give the solution long ago? Let’s go on a premarital trip.
Before the trip is very necessary, it relates to each other on human geography resonance, relates to people’s attitude, relates to differences in tolerance, involving consumer spending ideas, to discover each other beauty can generate resonance, relates to whether there are take care of each other in the journey after the patient. When the trip was over, decide whether to marry the man or not. But be careful not to get pregnant during the trip.
It is important to maintain a healthy marriage and love relationship by effectively criticizing each other and accepting the criticism of the other.
When two people love each other and get close to marriage, they know what the other person is and where the most sensitive is. Love itself can bring disappointment and criticism. All marriages, more or less, involve love and hate. People who love most, that is, his most critical object. The two sides usually loved each other on the other side, must also have different levels of anger, frustration and criticism. This is the inevitable sorrow of marriage.
There are also many who believe that there are only two ways to keep a marriage together. One is to constantly restrict each other, and the other is to never criticize each other’s words and actions. These two methods are obviously undesirable.
Look at the first method: if both husband and wife criticize each other too far, the implication is: “you have to do as I say.”!” In the process of criticism, words will inevitably be speculative, which is the most emotional place. The more you feel you cannot accept some aspects of each other, you always want to use criticism to manipulate or control each other, and your partner may not be able to accept you unreasonable or unreasonable charges, refused to follow you to do, or your partner is resisting your criticism. He will continue to make you dissatisfied. Usually, if both parties are picky about each other, even the two of them feel that if they don’t make a noise, they can’t calm down. Thus, the reasonable result is a quarrel.
Look at the second kinds of methods: in fact, the couple with the unwritten agreement, “if you don’t criticize me, I will not criticize you, this is not desirable, take this attitude may ignore many important things. Sometimes, when they want to change something, they say, “it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.” or “say something else.””. They fear that if they criticize each other and violate their wishes, they may hurt their feelings. The problem, however, is that it does not disappear. One day, the anger and discontent that are not dealt with will emerge in the face of great destructiveness and injury, and by then a series of reactions may be triggered. For example, one of the old again may make the other person feel deceptive damage etc..
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In May 5, 2010, a full Chinese taste of traditional Chinese wedding held in our Tangshan City home. The red bridal, red hijab, suona, gongs and drums, the traditional wedding Chinese elements, all of a sudden from the drama came to us. Wedding planner and host named Li Baole, from the 03 years of exposure to the traditional wedding, Li Baole developed a keen interest in the wedding in the Chinese contains traditional culture, today the story of Tangshan, would you please come with me to listen to the stories about Chinese wedding bolak li.
Back in 1994, there were no formal wedding procedures, and the so-called wedding ceremony was only a matter of asking people to say two sentences. By chance, a couple of Li Baole by the matchmaker wanted him to preside over the wedding, Li Baole gladly accepted the invitation, this is the first time he presided over the wedding experience.
Li Baole: at that time, we were impressed by the history of the past. There is such a model in the brain. The result is quite good.
With his own experience and old man’s narrative, Li Baole printed a simple process of Chinese wedding and printed it in his mind. In order to keep improving, Li Baole hired a helper, that is, a tape recorder.
Li Baole: it was very serious at that time. There was a tape recorder. I recorded it with my own microphone. Then I listened and listened. Which paragraph said something wrong and changed my mind.
After the wedding, many of Li Baole’s colleagues and friends will find he presided over the own wedding, but because of their work on the railroad, Li Baole did not go to studying Chinese wedding culture, only the use of spare time to meet friends invitation. A lecture until 2003 changed Li Baole’s trajectory.
In 2003, Li Ping, director of the China wedding Committee, held a lecture in Tangshan, which involved some traditional ceremonies and cultures. At that time, Li Baole, who was present and listened to the lecture, was suddenly attracted by the profound and profound knowledge of the traditional wedding culture.
Li Baole: at that time I began to tidy up these things at home and visit famous people every day. If I want to learn something, I must understand it. Think this is our country’s thing, should study well. Later, the more research, the sense of responsibility came out
In fact, Li Baole of traditional wedding are also from the family of Li Baole said, the past is not their home for dinner with his father at the same table, to eat a meal chopsticks pecking order must be placed on the table, but not on the bowl, otherwise it is not satisfied with the meal. Influenced by these traditional cultures, Li Baole said that his thoughts were ancient and that he liked historical and traditional things.
That said for so long, in the end, Chinese traditional wedding every link contains what kind of meaning? And what exactly is the traditional wedding culture that attracts Li Baole? Next, let’s listen to Li Baole and tell you two stories about marriage customs, and you’ll understand.
Members and the vast number of wedding colleagues:
In order to solve the practical problems in our wedding presided over the wedding planning, and management in Panjin City, the wedding industry association invited the famous wedding planning trainer Can Tang ~ and wedding experts to disc pass precious knowledge to others. Specific matters are as follows:
Training time: August – 2 – 3 (2 days)
Two, training content: wedding planning and talk about single sales, wedding ceremony, wedding supervision, wedding company operation and management and so on.
Three, the teacher: Can Tang (Tianjin wedding symbol), a famous wedding, wedding experts
Four, participants: Panjin wedding etiquette Industry Association members and practitioners are eligible to sign up
Five, training costs: association members 100 yuan / person (including teaching fees and 2 days lunch); non members 200 yuan / person (including admission fee, teaching fee and 2 days lunch)
Six, training location: Xinglongtai (specific location notice)
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